When it comes to relationships, things really start to unravel only after you’ve gone through the honeymoon phase. And once that starts to happen, they can take two very different directions – you can either build an even stronger relationship or realize the whole thing was a mistake. The problem is that more often than not it’s very hard to tell them apart. What now seems like a huge problem might just be one of the obstacles you’re supposed to overcome in order to get closer together. But it could also be a total deal breaker. Here’s a couple of signs that should help you determine whether your relationship is already over.
- You’ve lost interest in each other
At the very beginning of your relationship, you were so fascinated with each other that you both felt like you were the only two people alive. You could talk for hours and wanted to spend all your free time in each other’s company. Learning even the most insignificant details about your partner excited you. Now you don’t feel like there’s anything left to say to each other. You spend time together, but you feel like you’ve both lost interest. If this is what’s happening between you two, chances are your relationship won’t last very long.
- You cannot seem to find a way to communicate your thoughts and feelings
But there might be an even bigger problem stopping you from becoming a loving couple – communication. It’s said to be the key element in every successful love story, as well as the most common reason behind breakups. If you’re not even trying to communicate, that’s problem number one, the one listed above. But if you’re both doing your best, yet failing miserably, you might want to reconsider how compatible you really are. Before you do that, make sure you’ve done everything in your power to find common ground.
- Everything you do bores you
Remember how it was when you two just became an item. It really didn’t matter what you did, since everything was fun, exciting or even breathtaking. That’s how it starts for most people, but it soon dwindles if it’s not meant to be. If you’re not looking forward to meeting your partner, even if your date involves something you’d otherwise like doing, take a moment to step back and reconsider your relationship. You might be a good match on paper, but if it’s not in the least exciting, you might be better off without them.
- You’ve stopped making long-term plans
The way you two talk about your future says a lot about your relationship. Especially if they don’t have commitment issues, people aren’t usually very shy about making plans with those they’d like to keep in their lives. This is why it’s not uncommon to hear new couples talking about their future as if they’d been together for a long time. If you two are avoiding such conversations, this might be because you really don’t plan on staying together. And if you remember making long-term plans and completely ignoring them later on, what you have is a dead giveaway of serious problems in your relationship.
- You’re constantly daydreaming about a life without your partner
A certain amount of daydreaming can be a part of a normal emotional life. This means that there’s really no need to be alarmed if you sometimes catch yourself fantasizing about others. But if daydreaming is something you do on an everyday basis, you might want to ask yourself why you feel the need to do it. Chances are you’re starting to experience emotional detachment from your partner, which is one of the first steps leading to a breakup.
Not all symptoms of relationship issues are signs of complete incompatibility. Some of them can also be signs of problems you two can solve without doing any significant damage to your relationship.
When it comes to relationship advice, frequent fighting is often listed under symptoms of issues that cannot be solved. This is far from the truth, especially when you consider couples who’ve been together more than 10 years. Since you’re both in a constant state of change, you won’t always agree on things that matter to you the most. You won’t always be on the same wavelength either. This is why frequent fighting is something that can come and go without doing any significant damage to you as a couple.
Lulls in your sex life
People tend to measure the quality of their relationships by the number of times they have sex on a weekly basis. This is probably the worst thing you can do to yourself, since lulls are very common and can be caused by practically anything, including stress and medical problems. If you continue not having sex for more than a year, that’s the time to start worrying.
Contrary to popular opinion, couples can and do recover from infidelity. It’s true that one of the keys to a successful relationship is trust, but trust is something that can be built anew even after it’s been lost. If you want a chance at growing old together, you only need to have three things: trust, communication, and interest.